everyone cries when the flowers take you down
why must you cry when i will lay beneath you
for all time, i will be there to hold you still
the obscure realization of my own living hurts, i want to see it all and i want it all to go away, both at the same time. i want what i dont think i can withstand. i am terrified into a paralysis. i have never been born, there is no death of mine. my own living will be lost and i, stuck at an eternity of passing fragments of breath breaking my body and thoughts into pieces that i may never return to. into a dark place that will teach me to be still. too late and it will sway me above and under grounds fertile with my own cries.. “to be, to be, to be..”
i want an end
i am held at a distance from my altering manifestation that which has been replacing my skin since the days of my death into life.
death into this life.
that death which had destroyed my entity in which time could not eat up, until i was manifested into the birth in which these beings can comprehend and dwell their shining eyes upon me and call me a name
i tell them i am false
why do they insist to touch me when i am not there
have i not spoiled my time here? i harm the sequence in which i pass and take my constructed mind to fabricate on the hunger to be rooted beneath the ground. i, first must spoil unto myself the mass of my body to withdraw from soul and spill out of my mouth into nectar. rooted grounds, forgive me.. at last, give me away.
i feel as if this body the earth has offered to me is stemmed from the death of my past body which i feel to be a tree. being in this body that i have now, that i was manifested into, i guess i have not come to terms with leaving that past life, because the feelings arise in me. my limbs are not in place. everything make me miss the trees
i want to cry
 | Anonymous : I just want to say, your writing calls to me. Every word is like reading my own thoughts. I honor the being in you. I am glad I get to share this earth space with someone with as beautiful thoughts as yours. How are you able to form words around your feelings? My own feelings consume me and words always seem to fail. When I read what you write I feel so many things deep inside I don't even know where to begin. It's like I can feel your suffering through your words. I want to hug you. xoxox |
i want to hug you because you can interwine your feelings with mine and it means so much to me that you think of my writing this way. that is a lot of the reason i write so that others could find themselves in it, in some form. you made me really happy with this message, thank you. | |
"Why should I fear death? If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not?"
- Epicurus
ive been mourning my mothers death since the day i met her. if she goes, then i follow. i realize this often and the realization swims deep in my skin and falls and falls.
mother, it is my nature to follow you. the time beneath our bodies must never separate. i am picking the same roses with you, we will find death together.
saying goodbye
‘I am here with you and i love you. You are dying, and that is completely natural; it happens to everyone. I wish you could stay here with me, but i dont want you to suffer anymore. The time we have had together has been enough, and i shall always cherish it. Please now dont hold onto life any longer. Let go. I give you my full and heartfelt permission to die. You are not alone, now or ever. You have all my love.’
i watch the trees and my heart drowns
the earth gives me life and i stand, too sad to be anywhere at all.
you must take me back, mother, my earth. my body has expired from my mind and my mind is dictating stone upon a heavy head that cries to be hung upon a disappearing taste
take me back altogether
i cry for you again
i crave to die, i hold death between my lips, she sinks in my mouth, i want to taste her, i ask her for it
the being which does not appear is an essence in form of potency developed in between cases of structure. my body (the appearance) is supported by inner concerns being opposed to what nature has called forward into my being.
every moment manifesting my parts given by my nature, to arise and fade and show itself onto this infinite series
my skin is replaced
